Huai Xu thrashed wildly, but it was futile—only leaving him flushed and panting.
He spat out angrily, "Get off! Stop! Let go, Jing Zhengxuan!"
Jing Zhengxuan didn’t pause, pinning Huai Xu’s limbs with one hand while the other slid lower. "A-Xu, trust me."
The once-pristine sheets were now a crumpled mess from Huai Xu’s struggles, like a piece of discarded paper.
"No! We can’t— Jing Zhengxuan! Where are you touching?!"
Jing Zhengxuan continued, his dark eyes fixed on him, voice soothing. "Friends help each other. It’s normal."
A blush crept up to Huai Xu’s eyes, making them glisten. His face burned crimson, lips redder than ever from exertion.
He struggled, but it was useless—Jing Zhengxuan was far stronger. One large hand easily trapped both of Huai Xu’s wrists above his head, legs pinned just firmly enough to restrain without pain.
Why does this position feel familiar? Huai Xu thought, drowning in shame. But Zhengxuan sounded so sure… Could it really be…?
"R-Really?" he stammered, lips parting uncertainly.
Jing Zhengxuan nodded. "Really. You’re just a late bloomer."
"Then how’d you know?" Huai Xu’s curiosity overtook his panic. "You… figured it out earlier?"
A smirk. "Mn."
"When?"
"Not important." Zhengxuan brushed a finger against him, and Huai Xu gasped. "This is."
"You—!" He meant to protest, but the touch sent pleasure crackling through him—more intense than any dream or video. Biting his lip, his breaths turned ragged, body arching despite himself.
Jing Zhengxuan watched, ears reddening, grip tightening just slightly.
"Nngh—!" A moan escaped as Huai Xu’s resistance shattered. The "no" in his mind fled, leaving only "yes"—but it felt less like victory and more like surrender.
Pleasure tangled with shame;
Ecstasy warred with guilt.
Guilt over what? He didn’t know. All he knew was how Zhengxuan’s hands robbed him of strength, reducing him to a trembling, pliant mess.
This is wrong, he thought—yet the pleasure drowned his protests.
I must be insane. We both are.
But this madness felt better than any dream.
Maybe… just a little…
…he liked it.
Huai Xu's eyes were fixed on the ceiling.
He didn’t dare meet Jing Zhengxuan’s gaze—too embarrassed.
Nor did he dare close his eyes, as if he were enjoying it too much.
He wanted to pretend it was no big deal—just helping each other out, right? He could help Jing Zhengxuan too; it wasn’t anything major.
Soon, Huai Xu arched his back, letting out a long, relieved breath.
Maybe mutual assistance really was an effective way to solve the problem.
A thin sheen of sweat bore witness to what had just happened. Huai Xu collapsed onto his side, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
The flushed corners of his eyes were damp with tears, making him look pitiful yet irresistibly alluring—especially when those dark, glistening eyes turned toward you.
Jing Zhengxuan gazed at him deeply, then, without hesitation, licked what was on his hand.
"Sweet," he said, staring at Huai Xu, the fire in his eyes barely suppressed.
Huai Xu watched the act in stunned silence, his eyes widening in shock. "Jing Zhengxuan, are you insane?!"
As soon as the words left his mouth, he clapped a hand over his lips.
Why did his voice sound so hoarse?
Not just hoarse—it also came out soft and sticky, almost like a whimper.
What the hell was happening?!
Jing Zhengxuan chuckled, using his clean hand to wipe away the tear at the corner of Huai Xu’s eye before reaching for a wet wipe to clean him up.
Huai Xu abruptly sat up, snatched the wipe, and turned away. "I’ll do it myself."
Knowing he was embarrassed again, Jing Zhengxuan didn’t insist. He got up and went to the bathroom to wash his hands.
Huai Xu tossed the wipe aside and burrowed under the covers, silently staring out at the deep night outside the window.
Why did he feel like he’d both gained something and lost something at the same time?
When Jing Zhengxuan returned from the bathroom, he saw Huai Xu lying with his back to him. Gently, he wrapped his arms around him.
He inhaled the scent of Huai Xu’s hair, resisting the urge to press a kiss there, and sighed softly as he pulled him closer…
Strangely enough, after being "helped," Huai Xu slept exceptionally well. There were no more suggestive dreams, and when he woke up, his clothes were clean and dry.
Maybe mutual assistance really was necessary.
But this was way too embarrassing.
Huai Xu slept straight past noon. After getting up and freshening up, he had lunch in the room.
Though it was Christmas, neither of them was religious—it was just an excuse to hang out together.
While Huai Xu had been sleeping, the others had gone hiking. Now, the group chat was buzzing with photos of the scenic mountain views, interspersed with group selfies.
Huai Xu scrolled through them as he ate, until the phone was suddenly plucked from his hands.
Jing Zhengxuan looked at him. "Finish eating first."
Huai Xu immediately flushed and ducked his head to sip his soup.
He had no idea how to face the childhood friend who had… helped him last night.
What exactly were they now?
Still just friends? Or something else?
"Don’t overthink it," Jing Zhengxuan said, reading his mind as he served him more food. "Between us, anything we do is normal."
Huai Xu had heard this line countless times lately, and he’d even tried to convince himself the same. But…
He stared down at his bowl. "Then… licking that… is normal too?"
"Licking what?" Jing Zhengxuan feigned ignorance, watching the top of Huai Xu’s bowed head.
Huai Xu’s voice grew even quieter. "You know… that."
"Oh, that," Jing Zhengxuan lifted a hand to cover his smirk, keeping his tone neutral. "I was just curious about how you tasted."
Huai Xu: "…"
"Then why don’t you taste your own?"
Instead of answering, Jing Zhengxuan countered, "Are you curious about mine?"
"You!" Huai Xu snapped his head up, glaring furiously—only to immediately deflate the moment his eyes met Jing Zhengxuan's. "Whatever."
Jing Zhengxuan nudged the dishes toward him. "Exactly, no need to overthink it. As long as it feels good, that's all that matters."
Huai Xu lifted his head again: "Who said it felt good?!"
Jing Zhengxuan raised an eyebrow, feigning confusion. "It didn’t?"
"..." Huai Xu lowered his head again, the tips of his ears burning red. "It was... fine, I guess."
The corner of Jing Zhengxuan’s lips curled imperceptibly. "Then don’t overcomplicate it. Just enjoy it."
Huai Xu: "..."
Something felt off, yet Jing Zhengxuan’s logic was annoyingly sound.
What was going on?
In the afternoon, the group gathered to soak in the hot springs.
Huai Xu had a weak constitution, prone to bacterial and viral infections. Even in high-end resorts with top-tier hygiene standards, public hot springs always carried some risk of cross-contamination.
The resort they were at was luxurious, with impeccable sanitation—but Jing Zhengxuan still wasn’t taking any chances.
To eliminate the risk entirely, he booked a private pavilion, arranging for thorough disinfection and water replacement beforehand.
Huai Xu rinsed off in the shower and changed into the swim trunks he’d brought.
Just as he was about to step out, Jing Zhengxuan pulled him back, scrutinizing him. "You’re going out like that?"
Huai Xu blinked. "What’s wrong?"
Jing Zhengxuan’s gaze traveled inch by inch over Huai Xu’s body before settling on two pink peaks. "You’ll catch a chill like this."
Huai Xu was slender, his skin uniformly pale—unlike most people, whose faces and bodies were different shades.
He was lean, with just a thin layer of muscle beneath his skin, his waist narrow and his legs long and straight. Yet his backside was unexpectedly rounded and full, giving him an enviable figure.
Jing Zhengxuan stared, the tips of his ears turning red. He tried to force himself to look away, but his eyes refused to obey, stubbornly glued to Huai Xu’s face and body.
"I always wear this to hot springs," Huai Xu said, baffled. He glanced down at himself, oblivious to his childhood friend’s gaze.
Jing Zhengxuan snapped out of it, his ears reddening further. Finally tearing his eyes away, he cleared his throat and guided Huai Xu to the lockers. "This time’s different."
He pulled out a black garment and handed it to Huai Xu. "Good thing I prepared in advance."
Huai Xu stared at it. "...A wetsuit?"
Jing Zhengxuan kept his eyes firmly above Huai Xu’s neck as he nodded. "Mhm."
"You want me to wear a wetsuit in a hot spring?" Huai Xu clutched the fabric, his brows furrowing in confusion.
Jing Zhengxuan soothingly pinched the delicate shell of Huai Xu’s ear—the soft texture sending a distracting tingle through his fingers—before reluctantly letting go.
Placing a hand on Huai Xu’s shoulder, he reasoned, "What if the others are carrying germs? Besides, there’s an outdoor section. Dressing warmer will keep you from catching a cold."
Huai Xu: "..."
He squeezed the wetsuit, pouting. "Fine."
Germs didn’t care how much clothing someone wore, but it was chilly outside—and he didn’t want to miss the outdoor springs.
"Good boy." Jing Zhengxuan ruffled the back of Huai Xu’s neck.
After changing, Huai Xu eyed Jing Zhengxuan’s perfectly defined back muscles and enticing spinal groove, then circled to admire his broad chest, sculpted abs, and the tantalizing V-line leading downward—before taking in his arms and long legs...
Huai Xu couldn’t help but marvel: "Your muscles are way better-looking than the ones in Anatomy Atlases."
Jing Zhengxuan struck a pose that accentuated his physique even more.
"Like what you see?"
"I—" Huai Xu caught himself mid-word, then pointed accusingly between them. "Wait, why am I the only one wearing this?!"
Jing Zhengxuan shut the locker, unfazed. "My immune system’s stronger than yours. And..." He paused, slinging an arm around Huai Xu’s shoulders with a faint smirk. "You seemed to enjoy the view."
Huai Xu’s face burned, and he shoved him away. "Shut up! I never said that."
Jing Zhengxuan just grinned. "Then let me beg you to keep looking, okay?"
Flustered, Huai Xu hissed, "Let’s just go. Everyone’s waiting."
Stepping out into the hot spring pavilion, they were met with stunned silence from the other five.
Wu Ke: "Huai Xu, are you... planning to scuba dive?"
Chen Pan: "Probably not a great idea in hot spring water."
Zhang Yilang: "No need to bundle up that much... haha, but better safe than sorry!"
Jiang Yuhan stared at Jing Zhengxuan, uncharacteristically speechless.
Shu Jinwei: "Huai Xu, why’s your face so red?"
Huai Xu scanned the group, mentally noting: So not everyone’s muscles are that nice to look at.
He forced a laugh, rubbing his cheeks. "Red? Must be the steam. You know how easily I get cold—just being cautious."
The others, who had been steaming in the heat for a while now: "..."
But since he said so, they dropped the subject.
Jiang Yuhan clapped his hands. "Let’s get soaking! Each pool has different benefits."
The private pavilion had both indoor and outdoor sections. Everyone agreed indoors was boring, so they headed outside.
Huai Xu followed eagerly—soaking in a hot spring while enjoying the scenery sounded perfect!
He chose a red-tinged pool, and Jing Zhengxuan slid in beside him.
Huai Xu waved at the others. "This one’s for muscle relief! Perfect after your hike. Come on over!"
The group glanced his way—taking in Huai Xu’s bright smile and the icy, brown-eyed glare beside it.
Zhang Yilang: "Nah, I’ll try the skin-brightening one."
Chen Pan: "Same. Could use some whitening."
Wu Ke: "Thanks, but I’d rather improve circulation elsewhere."
Shu Jinwei: "You two enjoy. That other pool has a better view."
Jiang Yuhan: "Yeah, plenty of pools to go around. No need to crowd."
"...Okay." Huai Xu lowered his hand and turned to Jing Zhengxuan.
The latter’s expression instantly softened, warmth flooding his eyes. "Don’t worry. I’ll stay with you."
Jiang Yuhan and Shu Jinwei, overhearing: "..."
They exchanged a glance, both silently scoffing.
After a while, Jing Zhengxuan nudged Huai Xu’s shoulder, casually asking, "How were their muscles?"
Huai Xu: "..."
Seriously?
He’d only glanced for a second—how was that noticed?
When Huai Xu didn’t answer, Jing Zhengxuan grabbed his hand. "Want a closer comparison?"
Huai Xu: "..."
You’re really—
He yanked his hand back, stealing another glance before muttering, "Yours are the most textbook-perfect. Happy now?"
Jing Zhengxuan propped his arms on the ledge, grinning. "As long as you are."
Huai Xu: "..."
That night, whether it was the hot springs improving circulation or Huai Xu’s prolonged exposure to Jing Zhengxuan’s physique, he found himself restless again once they returned to their room.
Some things, once started, became a recurring indulgence—especially mutual assistance that left one craving more.
Still, Huai Xu remained shy, refusing to bring it up even as he squirmed uncomfortably.
Luckily, Jing Zhengxuan knew him well enough to take the initiative. Huai Xu "reluctantly" agreed.
Afterward, Jing Zhengxuan licked his fingers again and declared, "Sweet."
Huai Xu, scarlet-faced, hurled a pillow at him. "Are you out of your mind?!"
Jing Zhengxuan swatted the pillow aside, chuckling as he went to wash his hands.
Huai Xu collapsed onto the bed, his face and ears burning, and buried his face in the pillow in utter shame.
When Jing Zhengxuan returned, he pried him loose and pulled him close. "Pillows aren’t hollow, you know."
Huai Xu, called out: "-_-"
He buried his head under the blankets, eyes tightly shut, and finally voiced the question that had been weighing on his mind: "Then... do you... need... help?"
Jing Zhengxuan's eyebrows lifted slightly, as if surprised by Huai Xu's sudden shift in attitude.
He tugged the blanket down, tilting Huai Xu's chin up, and said seriously, "I do."
Huai Xu, flushed, murmured, "Then... I'll help you."
As he spoke, his hand slowly began to slide downward.
Jing Zhengxuan sucked in a sharp breath and immediately caught Huai Xu's wrist. "Not this kind of help."
Having his wrist grabbed actually made Huai Xu sigh in relief—even if he were to help, he doubted he could match Jing Zhengxuan's skill.
How did he even get so good at it? It felt so...
"Ahem." Huai Xu shook off the indecent thoughts. "Then what kind of help?"
Something darkened in Jing Zhengxuan's eyes, a flicker of intensity Huai Xu couldn't decipher. He could only stare back blankly.
"Ah-Xu," Jing Zhengxuan murmured, gently stroking Huai Xu's palm with his thumb, his gaze fixed on the man in his arms with a mix of helplessness and fondness. "These hands of yours are meant for holding scalpels, not for... this. So leave it to me."
Huai Xu frowned, only half-understanding. After a moment of contemplation, he asked, "Then how do I help you?"
Jing Zhengxuan chuckled and pinched his chin. "You'll find out later."
Huai Xu's brows furrowed deeper. "Why not tell me now?"
"Now isn't the right time."
"Why isn't it the right time? Do you not need my help? Or... is someone else helping you?"
Jing Zhengxuan laughed and flicked his nose. "What nonsense. There's only you."
Seeing Huai Xu about to protest further, he wrapped an arm around his neck, his large hand resting warmly at the base of Huai Xu's skull, and said softly, "Letting me help you is helping me."
Huai Xu: "..."
What kind of logic is that?
Before he could ask more, Jing Zhengxuan patted his back soothingly. "Sleep. It's late."
The rhythmic patting soon lulled Huai Xu into a deep slumber.
Jing Zhengxuan watched the man in his arms, his Adam's apple bobbing a few times before he finally gave in—leaning down to press a feather-light kiss to Huai Xu's forehead.
On Sunday afternoon, the seven of them carpooled back to campus.
Over the next few days, Jing Zhengxuan "helped" Huai Xu several more times.
The shame was there, but Huai Xu couldn't control the desire burning inside him, scorching his blood and clouding his mind.
His entire self-perception had been upended.
He'd always thought of himself as an indifferent, almost robotic person—never imagining he could be so... horny.
Somehow, saying it in English made it slightly less embarrassing.
One day, as Huai Xu took the seat Zhang Yilang and the others had saved for him in class, Wu Ke propped his chin on his hand and studied him thoughtfully.
"Huai Xu, have you been... getting cosmetic treatments lately?"
Huai Xu: "? What?!"
Wu Ke said with an enigmatic expression, "Your complexion looks much better than before. Not that it was bad before, but it used to be a bit pale, and now it's a healthy pinkish white."
Huai Xu touched his face. "Really?"
Zhang Yilang grinned and winked. "Definitely. Did something good happen recently?"
"Yeah, yeah," Chen Pan chimed in, more straightforward. "As the saying goes, 'Joy puts heart into a man.' Are you dating someone?"
Huai Xu's face flushed instantly. "Dating? No way. Maybe the medicine I've been taking lately is just working."
Seeing his reaction, the three exchanged mischievous glances, assuming he was just shy, and didn’t press further.
Huai Xu rubbed his cheeks, then busied himself gulping down several sips of water until the class bell finally rang.
He exhaled in relief and focused on the lecture.
One day after class, Huai Xu, Jing Zhengxuan, Shu Jinwei, and Jiang Yuhan planned to watch a movie together.
To minimize Huai Xu’s risk of infection in public, Jing Zhengxuan, as usual, booked the entire theater.
While waiting, Jing Zhengxuan and Jiang Yuhan wandered off somewhere, leaving Huai Xu and Shu Jinwei sitting together.
Shu Jinwei studied Huai Xu for a moment before leaning in conspiratorially. "Were those links I sent you helpful?"
Huai Xu: "!"
Is this really something to discuss in public?!
Huai Xu glanced around frantically, confirming no one was nearby, then whispered, "Not at all. I deleted all of them."
"No use?" Shu Jinwei looked shocked. "Are you sure?"
"Really useless," Huai Xu mumbled, cheeks burning as he leaned closer to Shu Jinwei’s ear. "I watched them all night and almost started doubting if I had a physiological problem."
Shu Jinwei blinked. "What? No reaction at all?"
Huai Xu nodded weakly.
"Absolutely nothing?" Shu Jinwei emphasized the word.
Huai Xu fiddled with his fingers and shook his head.
After a few seconds of thought, Shu Jinwei ventured, "So you just… powered through?"
Huai Xu’s face turned even redder as he lowered his head. "Not exactly."
"Then—?" Before Shu Jinwei could finish, the other two returned.
Jiang Yuhan announced loudly, "Money really can move ghosts. Not only did we get a private screening, but they also disinfected everything and even customized the popcorn. Today’s another eye-opener."
Jing Zhengxuan glanced at Huai Xu, then scrutinized Shu Jinwei before pulling Huai Xu into his arms. "Why’s your face red?"
Though the question was directed at Huai Xu, his sharp gaze locked onto Shu Jinwei—not hostile, but clearly warning and displeased.
"Ah… I was just asking him—"
"It’s nothing, just the air conditioning being too warm," Huai Xu cut in hastily.
Jing Zhengxuan stared at him, pinching his earlobe. "Really?"
"Really."
Shu Jinwei, interrupted twice, munched on the popcorn delivered by an attendant, watching the two with thoughtful amusement.
Shortly after Christmas came New Year’s, and Huai Xu and Jing Zhengxuan returned home.
Unlike before, this time Jing Zhengxuan didn’t head straight to Huai Xu’s house but went back to his own family first.
Huai Xu found it a little odd but also somewhat relieving.
At home, Huai Xu hugged his mother, whom he hadn’t seen in a long time.
Though they often chatted on WeChat and video-called, nothing compared to face-to-face interaction.
Since they arrived early, dinner wasn’t ready yet, so Huai Xu strolled through the backyard garden with his mother.
By January, even lower latitudes finally had a hint of winter, though the trees remained green and flowers still bloomed.
Wearing a light down jacket, Huai Xu walked arm-in-arm with his mother, chatting idly.
Huai Mo, dressed only in a cashmere cardigan, listened and responded warmly.
"Mom, what have you been up to lately?"
"Me? Just the usual company work, occasionally going out with Aunt Qing for fun. Nothing else."
"Mom… have you ever thought about finding a partner?" Huai Xu tilted his head to look at her.
He’d wanted to ask this for a long time.
All these years, his mother had remained alone—undoubtedly because of him.
Huai Mo was still stunning at just under fifty, attracting admirers wherever she went, though she turned them all down.
Hearing her son’s question, she smiled. "Who says life must be lived with a partner?"
Huai Xu stayed silent.
Huai Mo continued, "People live for themselves. There’s joy in solitude too. A’Xu, I’m very happy now."
Huai Xu felt a pang of guilt for his narrow-mindedness. "That’s good."
"How could I not be happy?" Huai Mo chuckled, nudging him playfully. "I have my career, you, and my friends. I’m beyond content."
Huai Xu grinned, swinging her arm. "That’s my mom—always so free-spirited!"
Huai Mo laughed, then studied him. "What about you, A’Xu? Are you seeing someone?"
Huai Xu: "?"
"Huh? Why… why ask that all of a sudden?"
"Your complexion has improved so much, and you brought up relationships yourself. Is there something you’re not telling me?"
Huai Xu’s face burned again.
Why does everyone keep saying my complexion looks better?! What does that have to do with dating?!
His mind raced for an excuse. "Maybe it’s the school doctor’s treatment. It’s been effective."
"Oh? What kind of treatment works so quickly?"
"Uh… physical therapy."
"Really? That fast?" Huai Mo pressed. "How many sessions a week?"
Huai Xu bit his lip, recalling recent events, and mumbled, "About… once a day."
"That’s quite frequent," Huai Mo remarked, then added, "But as long as it helps."
Huai Xu nodded guiltily.
Lying felt awful, but he couldn’t possibly tell the whole truth. Knowing he was terrible at deception, he stuck to half-truths.
Luckily, Huai Mo didn’t probe further, and after their walk, they returned for dinner.
After dinner, Jing Zhengxuan still hadn’t come over. Restless, Huai Xu tried reading but gave up after a few pages, grabbing his phone instead.
He opened Douyin and stumbled upon a post:
[Help! My best friend used my photo as his phone wallpaper! What does this mean?!]
The comments were flooded with:
[Don’t panic, just congrats on the wedding.] đź‘Ť 999.99w+
[He’s basically screaming his feelings. Just date him already.] đź‘Ť 888.88w+
Huai Xu scrolled through the replies, then remembered—
Jing Zhengxuan’s phone wallpaper was a photo of him playing the guqin.
Holy shit?!
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